I’m still surprised when I look in the mirror
And see an old woman looking back at me
But one thing that surprises me even more
Than the wrinkling skin and the jiggly jowls
Is that this old womans eyes are filled with fire
This is not a cheery fire
Creating a sense of cozy warmth and homey safety
Confined, contained and domesticated in a fireplace made of polished stone
Or the raucous bonfire on a sand studded beach
Blazing to the heavens with a hunger for more and more and more
As youthful, limber, glistening bodies dance with abandon and grace
Fed by the heat and the promise of fecund, aching life
The fire that hides behind this old woman’s eyes
Is a fire that can no longer be reined in
Tamed
Domesticated
Harnessed
Muzzled
Or controlled by my human will or preference
It is an ancient fire
A howling fire
A timeless fire
A dangerous fire
It is the raging wildfire that cleanses the landscape down to the rocks and stones
Leaving behind nothing but blackened trees on a mountain hillside
Naked and charred in preparation of the slow eventuality of rebirth
It is the all consuming fire that strips your skeleton clean
Bleaching it solid white
Leaving it lying exposed in the charnel house
As devoted monks wail and pray over that final uncovering
Making your calcified corpse sacred once again
It is an undying fire
Smoldering quietly as glowing-eyed embers
A hidden heat buried underneath layers of gray ash
Awaiting just the right moment to burst into the flame of righteous revelation
It is the invisible fire that burns with a secret knowledge
That only comes when you have lived long enough
To feel in your bones the certainty of your own demise
This fire strips away any illusion of compartments and categories
Labels and preferences
Titles and demarcations
This fire reveals the story of separation as the biggest lie of all
This fire lays bare a truth that is rarely spoken
The truth that this earthly realm we struggle to call home
Is not a battleground between the forces of light and dark
Right or wrong
Good or evil
Life or death
But that we are rocked in the loving arms of an ongoing and eternal rhythm
Of mystery and epiphany
Divination and manifestation
Proclamation and prophecy
Inspiration and wildness
Breaking down
Breaking open
Breaking free
The fire stripping away anything that is not the tender knowledge
That everything is one thing
That holy paradox and numinous contradictions
Are simply the thousand upon thousand upon thousand faces of love
Love. Yes. Love.
Just beautiful and wonderful. Thank you.
So very powerful, true and fiercely, beautiful. Thanks Chris.
Beauty, sheer beauty!
So beautiful. Thank you.
Truth. So much love and compassion in that fire also. Beautiful!
Your words… the fire. Your beauty… the flaming embers. Exquisite.
Rock on!!
Holy crap yes. Exactly! We are of this earth and must claim it wildly.
So profound and hits to the core. Keep the fire going, you’re my inspiration.
Continually exposing and expressing your truth that kindles the flame of our hearts and breaths air into our spirits. Gratitude for all your hard work Crone Goddess of Fire, Earth, Air and Water.
Beautiful Chris!
oh, yes, yes, Yes! Loving you fiercely, sweet soul sister. Thank you for the way you love all of life – what you do to it, and what it does to you, and just what it IS – and the raw, open way you share, like the compassionate trickster you are, daring us all to welcome the blaze with such boldness and no-bullshit sovereignty. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Hoping your solar return was everything you deserve, exactly what your heart needs, and overflowing with the good laughter! xoxo~h
So much yes!
Wow!! This gave me chills.
Happy birthday Chris! Thank you for sharing your realness, your strength, your fierceness. I love the photo. <3
Thank you! Poweful.
Straight to my heart, fire woman.
Straight to my heart, fire woman.
Chris, I see and feel your beauty, wisdom, & love in your heart, your words, and creativity. I honor and love the beauty of your Soul! With deep gratitude and love, Sister of Heart and Soul, JoAnna
Have just come across this again my friend -perhaps because I can see more clearly and accept both being an old woman and the fire that burns still. Such a beautiful piece of writing that strikes hard and true. Thank you from my heart to yours.
This is so powerful, Chris!
May you emerge from your rebirth even brighter, even more fierce, even more deeply you!
I love this post, Chris. Fierce beauty-full truth. ✨Happy Birthday Wildheart Queen!! ❤️????????✨