This little piece is one of those drawings that made me pretty nervous from the moment I started it because I had NO IDEA what it was or where it was going.
Which meant I had to practice trusting the process and the brush quite a bit… not exactly my favorite thing. I much prefer it on a certain level when I have more of a plan. It’s less scary for me when I am working within known parameters.
But it’s also BORING… and not nearly as much fun as being surprised by what shows up in my art.
So I’m always torn. Some part of me wants the safety of the known. The other part of me wants the thrill of the mystery and adventure.
And what that looks like is that every time I take on a creative project I’m always engaged in this dance. Trust and faith in the process in one corner of the ring. Surety and what’s familiar in the other.
Sometimes, when I’m really feeling scared, I’ll find myself tempted to model my creative expression on someone else’s work. But I know that I could never really do that. I would lose interest in about five minutes tops.
So whether I like it or not I’m kind of stuck with being a creative thrill-seeker.
Painting weird, black winged creatures that are hiding behind pulsing, flaming hearts. Holding balls of energy in their hairy clawed feet.
And even though I find myself often filled with anxiety as unexpected colors and images show up on the page in front of me, also truly enjoying the uncontrolled and uncontrollable aspect of the creative process at the very same time.
This made me smile from ear to ear…”enjoying the uncontrolled and uncontrollable aspect of the creative process at the very same time.”
When I am shaking and quivering, I know it is some of my best work being born… yay for your process, each and every aspect of it!
I love that edge of the unknown. One of the reasons I have never been good at doing commercial work, it doesn’t have the same possibilities. I love that you continually affirm the opposite of so many of the restrictive messages I have subjected my art to.
Yesyesyes to this –
“So I’m always torn. Some part of me wants the safety of the known. The other part of me wants the thrill of the mystery and adventure.”
I’m admiring the way you chose to be with the uncontrolled and uncontrollable aspects of this process. And you make it look so easy ;-)
(I spent my afternoon planning out the next eighty pages in my sketchbook. Ha! It may be time for a bit more mystery and adventure.)
I love this post. “So whether I like it or not I’m kind of stuck with being a creative thrill-seeker.” makes me wanna go and get my brush on!
“creative thrill seeker” I dig that.
Juicy, smooshy paint is always a thrill, I see you are into the journaling process here. Yum Yum. xox Corrine
yes thumbs up! i start in the morning with my eyes closed and scribble for about 3-5 minutes..and that can be very scary but really exciting when i then open them
Wonderful post. Love your description of your creative conflict: “I’m always engaged in this dance. Trust and faith in the process in one corner of the ring. Surety and what’s familiar in the other.” Being a creative thrill seeker does have its advantages even if it’s sometimes uncomfortable. But isn’t creativity supposed to be a bit uncomfortable?
Oh, I know that fear well! Hooray for diving into the mystery!
FIREBIRD ARISE!