Most of the people who come to our Wild Heart Expressive Arts intuitive painting classes and retreats are women.

But it often takes them a very long time to get to us.

What I hear from women all the time is something along the lines of ” I should have done this sooner. I should have listened to myself and followed my instincts, but I kept putting it off. I’ve been hearing about your retreats for years, I have had you bookmarked on my computer, or I have an old dog-eared flyer that I’ve saved and I know that I need this and want this……but, but, but…. I just don’t give it to myself, because there’s just not enough time or money for ME.”

And it’s always because on some level it seems like too much to ask for.

We have a deep down belief based on years of conditioning that tell us we can’t take time or resources for ourselves until everyone else’s needs are attended to. But as you well know, if you wait for that to happen, there will NEVER be time for you.

When you are continually neglecting your own needs the subtext and message that you end up giving yourself is that you just don’t deserve to be relaxed and happy and fed. There is always someone, or something at the head of the line, clamoring for your attention. And you have been conditioned to think that this other person or situation is more deserving of your time and attention than you are.

So you continue to deprive yourself and slowly, inside, you begin to wither and dry up and just become sadder, less confident and more diminished. That bright spark of who you really are, that energy and enthusiasm for life and love that you know is who you are at the very core of your being, begins to slowly and inexorably disappear.

As women we are inherently generous and always available with energy and attention for another persons need or difficulty. And our lives are often filled with people and circumstances that call on all of our formidable resources of heart and mind.

Here are a few scenarios that I have heard about from women who I’ve worked with over the many years I’ve been doing this work.

You have an aging parent, a special needs child, or just children period where you are in caretaker mode most of the time, running around like crazy, cooking, cleaning, feeding, making appointments, managing schedules, running errands, solving problems, attending to meltdowns and everyone else’s emotional needs. You are totally and utterly exhausted but there is no one showing up to help you.

You are in a highly demanding career where you are the responsible one, expected to meet unrealistic deadlines, while managing a team and doing the job of three people.

You are a therapist or nurse or a life coach with a huge client load and a lot of people depending on you to show up with wisdom and skill and grounded expertise, even when you’re struggling yourself.

You also have a dear friend who is in crisis, a sibling who needs financial and emotional help and a depressed husband who is negative and critical.

Maybe you have teenage children who are navigating drug and alcohol problems or just simply being teenagers in a world that has lost its mind. Or young adult children who are still living at home or having difficulties making it out in the world.

These relationships are all very important to you. You obviously LOVE these people and want what is best for them. So you give all of your self over to what THEY need and want.

But that becomes a problem, because when you give everything that you’ve got, there is nothing left over for you.

And then you start to find yourself becoming depressed because you are so exhausted and depleted. And on the heels of depressed comes cranky and irritable, and before you know it, you are no longer the sensitive, empathic caring person that you want to be. You find that you are becoming more and more tense and anxious, the giving is no longer fulfilling and you are a long, long way from the experience of any kind of joy.

So many of the women who come to my retreats and classes say the same thing over and over again.

“I’ve lost myself. I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t even know if there IS anything left inside. All I feel is empty and so very, very utterly drained.”

So the question that keeps arising, again and again and again, is when am I going to give something back to myself? When am I going to not even put myself FIRST on the list but ON THE LIST AT ALL?????

There are many ways to be nurtured. Getting a massage or a pedicure or taking a nap. Going to lunch with a friend, making time to read a good book, or going for a walk in some beautiful, quiet natural setting. Reaching out and asking for help and actually GETTING help. And best of all, getting help and support for all that you do without ever having to ask at all.

But there is another way of feeding your self in a very deep way that we don’t often consider. And that way of nurturance is through creative self expression.

When you allow yourself to be creative, what you are actually doing is paying attention, finally, to YOU! You are bringing the focus back to yourself. To your own wants, needs, wishes and desires. It’s an opportunity to find yourself again. You discover that you are still alive and well under that sometimes crushing weight of responsibility of attending to everyone else’s needs.

And being creative actually GIVES you energy.

It is the perfect antidote to that horrible feeling of depletion that plagues so many loving, dynamic women that I see. It fills the tank and refuels you on all levels – physical, emotional and spiritual. You feel full and energized and just plain HAPPY after spending time being in conversation with your creative muse.

You start to feel alive again, joyful again and some women have even reported being surprised by sparks of sexual energy returning after spending time creating!

So if some part of you is saying ENOUGH! It’s finally time for ME… come and join us for one of our weekly online classes or even our week long in person intuitive painting retreat in Borrego Springs, CA in November.

For more info, click on the image below.