“How ARE you???”

That’s the first question I ask a friend or compatriot when I meet them for a zoom or phone call or a lunch date and the answer I invariably get is a groan or a head shake, a nervous laugh or maybe an eye roll, followed by something like “ I have NO idea how to answer that question. Everything is so up in the air right now. It’s all so confusing and upsetting and I’m up and down and ALL over the place and just trying to keep my shit together as best I can.”

And all I can do is nod my head in commiseration.

So I’m asking all of you here reading this post the same question:

“How ARE you?”

How are you holding up and hanging on as the world around us continues to unravel at such breakneck speed? I know for myself I careen between being heartbroken and stunned and just deeply, deeply exhausted with as many moments of joy and peace as I can find amidst all the crazy turmoil.

And I see that same struggle in my friends, family, students and clients as we navigate the complexity of our daily lives, trying as much as possible to hold onto what is good, and true and beautiful in the face of so much ugliness and lack of caring and just sheer stupidity that is being manifested in so many places in the outer world.

I know everyone, me included, is looking for something to make this better. To find ways to feel better or to have our nervous systems more regulated, or to regain our sense of calm or peace or well being.

But it’s pretty freaking hard to be calm in the middle of a tornado-tsunami! And faking it only goes so far.

Truthfully, there’s no way to fix this. There’s no going back to what we may have thought of as “normal.” We’re in the middle of a storm that looks like it’s going to be with us for awhile.

And the question isn’t how do we stop it ( because that’s impossible) but how do engage with it in a way that keeps our little individual boats from completely capsizing!!

For those of you who have been in my world for awhile as well as those of you who are new to me and this space, my answer is pretty much always the same.

Allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling and then express those feelings in some creative way.

So simple. But SOOOOOO not easy.

So what stops us from doing this? Well, the first thing is that NOBODY wants to feel those feelings of grief, or anger, or disgust or anxiety or despair that arise in the face of all the disturbing things that are happening in the world. We would rather do ANYTHING but feel. We would rather zone out in a million different ways, or self medicate or find new and creative ways to distract ourselves from our own inner experience.

And then we CERTAINLY don’t want to face those feelings even more by painting them, or writing about them or allowing our body to move them. That just sounds like the WORST THING EVER!!!

But I know for myself that when I create from my truth it actually DOES calm me down, because a lot of the stress I’m feeling is FROM the avoidance. I spend so much of my energy dodging and weaving away from my uncomfortable and often unacceptable emotions that it’s no wonder I feel exhausted and halfway unhinged.

So just a reminder that being creative heals. Always. Feeling your emotions brings you back home to yourself.

And you are NOT ALONE. Or weird. There’s nothing wrong with you for feeling ALL the things you’re feeling.

You’re just a vulnerable and sensitive human being trying to make your way through a VERY intense and crazy time.

And of course, one of the best ways to do this sacred healing work is in community with other folks! Which is why we are offering the one day workshop, Creative Courage: The Art Of Staying Centered In Challenging Times in a little less than a week. More info below.