Dreaming Into The Mystery

by | May 14, 2012 | Articles | 1 comment


I’ve always assumed that waking up is where it’s at

“Become more conscious” has been my motto

Open your eyes and try to see as much as you possibly can

Let brightness and the blinding light of clarity lead the way


But the murky land of dreams

Has lately been pulling me down

Into it’s swirl of blurred edges

And incoherent feelings


Soft and dimmed

Like being in a room

Where there is only one small, flickering candle

That throws more shadow than light


My normal vision is not very useful

In this place of shifting formlessness


I don’t know what I’m seeing

As my eyes try to make sense of shapes that won’t hold still

That won’t obey my need to name them

So that I can easily file them away

In the box marked known, understood, predictable and safe


This darkness holds secrets that disappear like smoke

Like mist when illumination brings it’s brilliant glare

This place of velvet blackness has no interest in revelation

It prefers to remain anonymous, mysterious and self contained


It does not hunger for definition or coherence

It is content to bathe me in confusion

To twirl me around till I’m dizzy and stumbling

And I no longer know my own name


My old stories come tumbling out of me in a mess of tattered bits

Like an ancient jigsaw puzzle

Where half the pieces are missing

And the rest are faded and stained


It is clear, even to me, that all hope is lost

Who I thought I was can’t be reassembled

There’s not enough to go on

No clues to lead me back to what I always held to be true


There is only one thing left to do

But I don’t know what it is


So  I do the only thing I can

Which is to throw the puzzle pieces away

Close my eyes

And pray

Comments

1 Comment

  1. Poignant, beautiful, profound….. and important…. oh so important to allow onesself to sink where you cannot breathe until the gold coins at the bottom of the well catch your eye…. to trust in the night that holds us all, even the light. Sending love and joining in prayer.

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