I am participating in something that Leah Piken Kolidas of Creative Every Day has developed which is called Art Every Day Month that she hosts during the month of November. The commitment is to do something creative and then post your latest creation on your blog. Today my creative juices are manifesting in a blog post about…. what else! Creativity!!

I have spent the greater part of my adult life devoted to studying the mechanics of creative flow. What stops it? What keeps it going? How do we block it ? How do we keep it alive?

And I think the main thing that gets in the way for most of us is a need for approval. Wanting attention. Wanting to be told that we are valued and valuable. Wanting to be loved for our creative gifts.

Looking for creative love in all the wrong places.

Now, I have talked in other places on my blog about how important it is to get outside validation in order for our creative gifts to thrive. That we need people who see us and get us and who believe in us to cheer us on and keep the fires of our creativity burning.

So it’s kind of a paradox. We do need it. But we get in trouble if we try too hard to get it. Creative support is essential for our creative survival. And yet focusing all of our energy on getting that validation will shut our creativity down faster than you can say “oil pastels.”

What often happens is that we get confused. We put things in the wrong order. We try to do the thing that we think will get us the approval, instead of asking for a celebration for who we already are.

What we need support around is the act of being creative. Not the creation itself. The message that we need to hear is that our creativity is valuable. That our creative efforts are worthwhile.

The creations are just a byproduct of the creative force running through us. And that creative juice is what we need to have applauded and acknowledged.

Your mother was right this time …sometimes it really IS best not to say anything at all.

In my intuitive painting classes I try to work with delineating this issue in the following way.

One of the things that I ask people to do is to not make any kinds of comments at all on each others work during the class. Lots of art classes include some kind of critique process which is supposed to help people make a better creative product. I have some serious doubts about how well that actually works but since in my classes we are not putting our attention on the outcome at all, the critique model, which usually focuses on what needs to be improved, doesn’t really apply anyway.

But I go even further than that. Often in my classes people only want to say good things. They see these amazingly alive creations appearing on the easels all around the room and are moved to oooh and aaahh over what is being born.

And I ask them, in the service of the intuitive painting process, to not make these kinds of remarks either.

Why? Well, there are a lot of different reasons. But primarily, what we are trying to cultivate in the intuitive approach is less dependence on the judging mind. And a positive opinion is still a judgment, even if it feels a lot better than being told something along the lines of “Your painting sucks!”

The problem with judgment of any kind is it takes us away from ourselves. It cultivates an atmosphere where we stop trusting ourselves and get focused on the judgment, either recoiling from bad judgment and feeling hurt and ashamed or leaning in towards a positive judgment,hungry for more.

There have been a couple of times when I’ve watched one of my students happily painting away, totally engrossed in their own work, completely engaged and not caring at all about the outside world and someone who has conveniently “forgotten” the only rule that I have will say to that person “Oh. I love what you are doing. That is just so beautiful. I wish I could paint like that.”

And the painter will all of a sudden get pulled out of their creative flow. The focus shifts to the outside. The connection with the creative stream gets interrupted. It’s like a pebble or sometimes a boulder has been thrown into the works. And the desire and craving for more of that praise and attention automatically gets kicked up.

It takes a lot of effort to not be influenced by someone else’s opinion. We are automatically impacted by what other people think about us. So that’s why I ask my students to refrain from offering any kind of evaluation, no matter how positive, at least while they are in my studio.

You mean I still haven’t learned this one?

One of my favorite aphorisms is that you teach what you most need to learn. And I am well aware of how that operates in my own life. I am fascinated, driven, OBSESSED with how creativity works and finding ways to make the creative process more free and joyful and effortless because that’s what I struggle with in my own life.

Because I have been working at it for so long however, I can often kid myself into thinking that I’m much further along the path to creative enlightenment than is really the case.  And I had an interesting experience with that this past couple of weeks.

I wrote an article that got a tremendous amount of buzz. Probably more  than anything I had written to date. People were commenting on it more. I was seeing it getting mentioned on other people’s blogs. And I liked getting the attention. But I was also puzzled by it. I couldn’t qualitatively see much difference between this piece and other things that I had written.

So I went to my husband who is my biggest fan and supporter. And also capable of giving me incredibly useful and helpful feedback on my writing and creative ideas.

I read the article to him and asked him what he thought about why it had gotten so much notice. And he told me what resonated with him and what he liked about it. But he also said something that of course I already knew but because I was in the middle of it couldn’t see clearly.

What he said was “You know, you’re trying to figure out what was so special about this article so that you can make people notice you again. You’re trying to find the magic formula. And first of all there isn’t one. Second of all, even if there was, you can’t really duplicate it. If you try and do that you will be twisting yourself out of shape and trying way too hard which will cause you to lose touch with your creative source. Which is where all this stuff ultimately comes from. All you can do is write.”

I count on him for his often wise counsel but I must say that I also really hate it when he’s right!

The gift that truly keeps on giving.

One of the authentic ways that creativity manifests in the world is in the desire for an audience. It wants to be seen, applauded and celebrated. But it primarily wants these things because it wants to be of service. It longs to be used and appreciated for what it has to offer. It is a gift and it wants to be given.

This is the place where things get wonky because this desire for the gift to be received can be twisted into focusing all of ones energy on just getting attention. The artist forgets that the gift is just that… a gift. And as much as you might want a gift to be appreciated your job is just to give it. To make the offering. The rest is really not up to you.

I WANT the gift to be received. I can’t MAKE the gift be received. That’s why it’s so important that your creativity be first and foremost for you. You have to write or paint or sculpt or dance or make music because YOU get something out of it. It has to feed you before it can ever be food for someone else.

So enjoy the feast! And invite those people who you know can appreciate what you have to offer so that you can have a big creativity party. With your muse as the guest of honor!

AND…… If you are looking for a way to jumpstart your creativity in 2010 come and join me at my Wild Heart Expressive Arts Intuitive Painting WeeklongCreativity Extravaganza Retreat in Northern CA in January! More details HERE!