Whenever I am painting or drawing I try to keep my judging mind out of the picture as much as possible and just allow whatever wants to show up to just be there.
And what that means is that I sometimes don’t LIKE what I’ve drawn or painted very much. I develop very negative opinions about how it turned out. I might think something is not very pretty or it disturbs me or makes me feel uncomfortable in some way or another.
A big part of the intuitive painting process is trying to practice something I call “Radical Self Acceptance” which means accepting everything that comes out of me as worthy and deserving of respect no matter what other feelings I may have about it.
Sometimes this is easier to do than others.
This little drawing that I made with colored pencils definitely had a life of it’s own. I was really engaged as I created it and enjoyed myself immensely WHILE I was drawing it.
The problems started once I finished. It was at that point that the critic came in with all KINDS of messages about how UGLY this image was.
I didn’t like her hair or her teeth or her nose or pretty much anything about her… although she seems quite happy with herself!
This is one of those situations where I have to remember that my art is “none of my business.”
When I’m painting or drawing intuitively it means I’m trying to let go of control, allow myself to be surprised and to not get too attached to how things turn out in the end.
Which is an easy enough concept to embrace when I’m pleased with what I’ve produced.
But there are certainly times when the intuitive painting approach challenges me around what it means to truly let go and surrender to how the creative muse wants to come through me.
And this was DEFINITELY one of those times!
Sounds like you’ve worked out how to do something I’m still trying to manage. The ability to just go with the flow is one to be admired. I’m still teaching myself not to be so design orientated and do just that.
She certainly has character :D And value, considering what she gave you.
Have you tried zentangling (examples – http://ffacets.blogspot.com/2010/10/drawing-lab-challenge-4-results-and.html ) I’ve found this a good way to try and let go, and still get a result.
Thanks for sharing your work and experience.
Nutty
(via AEDM)
you’re right – it’s the aftermath when the “flow” ends and the intellect kicks in. Pooh on the intellect! I have a painting like this I did on a just me retreat when I quite my last “real” (i.e. corporate, although it was a non-profit: little difference) job. I think this is our Kali energy. She’s scarey but she brings a ton of power when she emerges!
When your image first appeared on my screen, I had a scary response to her at first. And then when I sat with her for a while, i felt wisdom shining through her eyes and she did not seem so fierce at all. I suspect she is quite loving. A year ago or so I decided to let what ever came out of my pen just be ok, no matter what, and that approach has been quite freeing to me. Being a Virgo as well, I know my inner critic can be quite harsh with me, but it has stopped ranting, for which I am grateful.
Everything we create is worthy, thanks for the reminder, great post!
Oh awesome post! Thank you for the reminder of “letting it go and letting flow” no matter what the outcome. She is delightfully shocking and exudes lots of strength.
it’s all about the process, not the finished product.
Right now I am working so hard on making “good” drawings that they have become tight, stiff and over-controlled. I am trying to loosen up. Thanks for this reminder.
Love the title and the concept behind it!
Nutty- Thanks for the zentangle link… I’ve heard about those but I haven’t tried them out yet they look like fun!
Tammy- Yes! You’re right! She’s Kali… and she’s POWERFUL! I just never saw it till you pointed it out.
Sue- I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one who found her a bit scary. And yes, I think at heart she’s here to support me. It’s also nice to hear from another recovering perfectionistic Virgo (-;
Julie- Yes, all our creations are totally worthwhile!
Tracy- “Delightfully shocking!” I LOVE that!!
Cyndee- It’s always so good to remember that!
Virginia- I’m so glad the reminder to loosen up helped… it’s one we can never hear too much.
Paul- Thanks for stopping by (-:
Right on! it all brings us back to Point Zero huh?….love the honesty here!
Thanks for sharing…you realize, our inner critic is usually too “over” critical but then, sometimes I think our art that we create can make us “humble” also. I know when I create something that I don’t particularly like I try and say that God is keeping me “humble”. It might be my own rationalization, but it works sometimes for me. I love the “boldness” of this little lady…she seems to say…” I love me, even if you DON’T”
While I totally get what you are writing about here with respect to process and outcome, and I enjoyed the responses from other readers, I just felt moved to share that I when I first saw your drawing, LIONESS came immediately to mind! The lioness within…is that you, Leo? What I’d be excited to see is if you asked yourself the question, where is this muse taking me…it might be interesting to see the drawing that comes next. (or better yet, go into the shower and let out a huge roar!)