“Shug: More than anything God love admiration.
Celie: You saying God is vain?
Shug: No, not vain, just wanting to share a good thing. I think it pisses God off when you walk by the colour purple in a field and don’t notice it.
Celie: You saying it just wanna be loved like it say in the bible?
Shug: Yeah, Celie. Everything wanna be loved. Us sing and dance, and holla just wanting to be loved. Look at them trees. Notice how the trees do everything people do to get attention… except walk?
[they laugh]
Shug: Oh Miss Celie, I feels like singing! ”
Alice Walker’s : The Color Purple
An artist is simply a person who makes art.
Someone who is wildly excited about the prospect of taking an idea or an insight and bringing it into existence in a tangible form. An artist is also someone who hungers to give voice to their inner world … to make their thoughts, their feelings, their fantasies and their experiences visible by turning them into some kind of an artistic expression.
They love the process of allowing their imagination to interact with their intuition and then riding that wild wave of inspiration to an unknowable conclusion. To take the risk of opening to their muse and trusting creative instinct to lead the way.
This process of creation is something that is incredibly compelling and satisfying in and of itself.
It’s what happens to people when they sit down to paint or write a piece of music or make a meal with no recipe and one or two or three hours later step out of the deliciousness and timelessness of the creative trance to find that they are back in the familiar world of structure and schedule.
This is the blessed adventure of creative flow. The holy experience of aligning yourself with creative source. The magic of knowing yourself to be a creator by entering into a relationship with the sacred and your own essential self.
When we are really lined up with our creative life force we are channeling whatever genius we were brought into this world to be and to express.
When we are fully open to this energy of creative aliveness we are not concerned with anybody’s thoughts or opinions or judgments about what we are creating. Including our own. We are not making art for anyone else. We are simply making art because it needs to be made.
This part of the creative process is incredibly internal. It’s about our relationship with ourselves. With our own authentic core of being. And our private relationship to spirit. It’s more akin to prayer, to deep listening, to soul work.
This part of the creative process needs open space and uninterrupted time. It requires a great deal of surrender and letting go of all kinds of preconceived notions, expectations and attachments to how we think things should be. It demands compassionate presence and courageous self awareness. In many ways it is the ultimate spiritual practice.
But I see the creative process as a two stage journey. The first stage is the part I have just described.
But the second part of the process is related to a whole other set of needs. And this second part of the journey can derail the first part if we aren’t mindful about how the two work together.
Once the art has been created there is a deep desire to share it with the world.
There is a drive for the creative expression to be received as the gift that it is. The gift might be the gift of beauty, of touching someone’s heart and allowing them to feel, of healing, the gift of pleasure or delight, the gift of being transported out of your day to day life into another world of magic and wonder and reverence.
The artist wants their work to be seen, to be felt, to be tasted and ultimately appreciated.
This is where the hunger for recognition comes in. And all the things that go along with recognition like applause, celebration, popularity, admiration and approval.
And, especially in this culture, the ultimate commendation, which is money.
This need for an audience… for people who are thrilled to celebrate your creative accomplishments … for people who love and appreciate your work … is incredibly valid. It’s the public part of the creative process. It’s the place where every artist is at heart a performer, no matter how introverted you may be.
Painters and photographers perform through galleries. Musicians through CD’s. Writers through blogs and books. But what dims the shining artist soul is the manuscript that is lying unread at the bottom of a drawer. The paintings that are getting moldy out in the garage. The music that is hanging out on Garage Band that no one else has ever heard.
And what breaks that creative heart into pieces is receiving those rejection letters when you take that manuscript out of the drawer and find out that no one wants to publish it. The galleries that never even return your calls after you have left them a digital copy of your portfolio. The pile of unsold CD’s that are sitting right where you left them after you performed at an open mike.
The performance part of us truly needs to be seen and valued. There is nothing wrong with having those desires. But when we DON’T get those needs to be seen and valued met it triggers feelings of shame. Of inadequacy. Of not feeling like we are worthy of attention and love.
And there isn’t a human being on the planet who won’t do whatever is necessary to not EVER trigger those feelings of shame.
This performance piece is so critical and often so fraught with distress that artists will do almost anything to circumnavigate it.
Sometimes that looks like not creating anything at all. Or denying that you really are an artist. ( And everyone is an artist). So why bother. It doesn’t matter anyway.
But another popular strategy is putting the cart before the horse by trying to figure out what WILL get you the recognition and approval. The love AND the money. And trying to get your art to be what you think someone wants instead of allowing it to be what it truly needs to be.
Because as artists, our art IS so connected to who we really are, it’s really hard to not take the lack of response personally.
The creative part of us can be happy simply creating. That’s all it needs. It doesn’t need permission form anyone else to thrive. It’s about the relationship between you and your muse. But the performance part of us IS dependent on outside response. We want to know that who we are matters to others. That our gifts are welcomed and received.
And that part of us needs to be taken seriously. It deserves to get it’s needs for attention met. But what we don’t want to do is to let the performance part of us turn the shame it feels when ignored or rejected onto our creative efforts. To convince us that there is something wrong with our authentic artistic expression because the performance part of us didn’t get fed.
And to then abandon our true expression in order to get that attention.
There are many different reasons why we don’t get the kind of response we want to our creative offerings. But none of them usually have to do with your belief that you suck at being an artist.
It’s always a good idea to try and keep that in mind. And to also know that are definitely times in every artists life when the performer self needs a little extra TLC.
So if your performer self is feeling under-appreciated here’s a few things you can do to help it feel special again.
1.) Recognize and honor that need for recognition for what it is. It is always legitimate and very human to want to be appreciated . Don’t shame yourself for your yearning.
2.) Make some space to feel the grief, the pain and the disappointment. Let yourself cry. Call a friend and tell them how much it hurts.
3.) Find someone who CAN see and acknowledge you. Risk asking for feedback or appreciation from someone you know who can freely give it.
4.) Practice taking the admiration and acknowledgment that is available to you IN. Allow it to feed and nurture you. The performance part of us has been wounded in so many ways that often there is no sense of enough. One of the ways that we hurt ourselves is by getting caught in a cycle of comparing ourselves to others success ( and finding ourselves lacking) which means that we miss out on the ways that we ARE being treasured.
And finally, it’s important to remember that what we truly want is to be loved for who we are. And that love is always available to you. As nourishing as it is to get the goodies from the outside, nothing is as sweet and reliable as giving yourself your OWN appreciative attention and applause for the gift that you are.
As someone who isn’t very good at art but still enjoys doing it, I can relate to this article. Even if what you create is a sketch or a painting, you want to share it, which is like giving a performance. Whether you show it to a teacher, coach, or friend, the desire to “perform” and share your art really is natural. Thanks for the article.